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September 23, 2013


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Setting aside the fact that the summation you offer is longer than what you're summarizing:

1. I don't even think the movie needed to be shorter - Nolan's Bat flicks are of comparable length and play like gangbusters. It's the glacial pacing. In Superman Returns, I was zoning out by the time Luthor blew up his train set.

2. I'm not sure what was obscure about my point; just that if you make up rules for your fantasy, don't change them midstream. Don't say your vampires can be killed by sunlight then have them strolling around at high noon. Don't say that the green stuff can kill Superman then have him juggling with it. This has nothing to do with an awareness of artificiality. It's just plain old bad writing.

3. I'll actually back off this one, since it's truly subjective on my part. Still, whether the first two films were classics or garbage, a quarter of a billion dollars is a hell of a lot to spend on a love letter to ANY film. At the very least, it needs to be something besides said love letter, and I don't think Returns ever adds that second dimension, let alone a third.

4. I know who Jesus is, thanks, Alex. Saying that the reference has to be there because everyone expects it to be there doesn't seem a little circular, and a Christ reference is no more necessary to a Superman film, than say, The Hobbit. I wonder what the two skinny Jewish kids would think if they learned that people had to view their cartoon as a Passion Play before anyone would take it seriously.

I feel like we've spent a tremendous amount of time arguing about a film that was barely worth watching to begin with. My original point was simply that, if you're going to act as the arbiter of taste, your tastes better be immaculate, and that's not always the case with Walter (or anybody else, to be fair). If, as Walter suggests, I were to win the Powerball and spend it all on a movie, I can think of a thousand great personal projects, from a director's cut of The Thief and the Cobbler to a no-strings-attached rendition of Blood Meridian. Somehow I wouldn't think Warner Bros. and DC need the money to make yet another swing-and-a-miss at Superman. It's just a dumb thing to say.

Worth reiterating, after all this, that I'm still a big fan of the site.

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