ZERO STARS/**** Image B- Sound B
starring Melanie Griffith, Patrick Swayze, Penelope Ann Miller, Joseph Gordon-Leavitt
written and directed by John Kaye
by Walter Chaw For as bad an actress as Melanie Griffith is (Night Moves and Another Day in Paradise notwithstanding), it's not entirely her fault that John Kaye's Forever Lulu (inexplicably renamed Along for the Ride for its DVD release) is unspeakably awful. True, her Betsy-Wetsy kewpie doll elocution and its attendant dead eyes--which wore out their welcome almost the second she trotted them out for an incredulous audience about twenty-six years ago--are in full-bore here, but what makes Along for the Ride, in which she plays the title role, so abominable are such exchanges as this one:
Did you know that sometimes I ask my pillow late at night, "How much sadness do I have to feel?" And did you know that love is the greatest painkiller and that Marilyn Monroe wore a mask of tragedy over her pubic hair?
You're right, I should go talk to Ben.