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« Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) | Main | WALL·E (2008) »

June 20, 2012


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Dan C.

I expected this film to be stupid, in some kind of campy recuperable way, but I never guessed it would be so astonishlingly boring. Bekmambetov's habit of linking his scenes with visual puns was virtually the only relief from the saggy middle of this script. His agent may be the idiot...

I was briefly thrilled when I thought that the film had riffed on George Caleb Bingham's "Jolly Flatboatman," replacing the painting's dancer with an ax-twirling Lincoln, but I can't swear that it wasn't a coincidence.


I can't think of a movie less deserving of zero stars--not that it deserved four, mind you...well, maybe more like five? Or all the stars? A Civil War movie that actually has the stones to have absolutely zero sentiment regarding the Confederacy--no, "well the South were noble warriors too"--no, the Confederates were VAMPIRES WHO DRAINED THE BLOOD OF BLACK PEOPLE. Which is, you know, true. That alone makes it worthwhile. I mean, jeez, it's like the political inverse of Birth of A Nation.

And it succeeds because it takes its ridiculous premise and plays it straight. It's like a really great 70s horror comic. Try to do this stuff camp and it falls apart. Try to do this stuff Whedonesque and, okay, there's a fine line there that works for some and not for others. In AL:VH Lincoln really really did free the slaves from vampires and that is it--that is the story. I mean it doesn't have a lot of competition on this score, but as a "different" take on the Lincoln mythos? I loved it.


I think the word idiot is a goddamn great word. Don't stop using it.
I wish you weren't married, Walter.


this is what happens when film is all spectacle and no brain or heart. it's the malaise of cinema, and the general Philistine trend of anti-intellectualism in overall culture. i know i'm not getting jaded just because i'm older and demand films to have something more and actually (god forbid) MEAN something. Fuck! I'm actually pissed off that films like this are allowed to exist, siphoning funding and attention away from films that deserve to get made. Don't even get me started on the bastardization of history with zero justification. There's no respect, and that's what peeves me off about this generation of filmmakers.


Does Pride and Prejudice and Zombies successfully walk the line between reverence and camp? Color me surprised.

Walter Chaw

Yeah, I should lay off with the idiot stuff - certain words become the crutch when I'm tired and frustrated. It's a helluva lot easier to just say what I feel rather than examine why I feel it.

I'm the idiot. Good call out.


Walter seems hellbent on wearing out that "that idiot so-and-so" moniker. I think this is the third review in a month where I've seen it pop up. I guess he thinks it sounds good, or has shock value, or does the heavy lifting in lieu of an extra paragraph, or whatever, but in all honesty I think that opening sentence (and most sentences) would have worked better without it. Then again, what do I know?

Other than that I can't say all the bad press this movie is getting surprises me. Whatever ironic charms the book had to offer were probably milked out of the story on its way to becoming a big, noisy blockbuster. I like the idea (and agree) that the Confederate Army being portrayed as vampires seems like it should be offensive to somebody... who exactly is unclear.

Pol Pot Plant

This sounded like an absolute turd from the get-go, so no real surprises here. No doubt greenlit during the last fading trickle of the vampire fad. Be surprised if three score and ten people bother to sit through the whole running time.

I still like 'Wanted' though, I can't bring myself to lump Timur B in with Uwe Bollocks just yet.


Hey, fuck YOU, Cameron, I'm going to see it. I might regret it, but that's not your realm.

Squarely Rooted

"I used to think there were movies that were so bad they were good--I'm coming around to the idea that those movies are just good and that these movies are just bad."

This is wisdom.


Telling it like it is. Love it! Fuck this movie and the people who pay to see obvious crap like this.

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