Octopussy, featuring Moore's penultimate (which, for the last time, folks, means second-to-last, not really ultimate) portrayal of the beloved secret agent, is a minor entry in the canon populated by stellar moments. Before I continue, it's about time I confessed a dirty little secret: a design flaw in my brain prevents me from comprehending the plot of a single Bond film, and Octopussy is no exception; rather than risk an aneurysm by fumbling through a synopsis, I will defer to the DVD cover insert's words of wisdom:

"James Bond may have met his match in Octopussy (Maud Adams), an entrancing beauty involved in a devastating military plot to destroy détente. From the palaces of India to a speeding circus train in Germany and a mid-air battle on the wing of a high flying jet, only Agent 007 can stop the nightmarish scheme!"

Gee, even I could've come up with that. And I wouldn't have forgotten to mention villain Kamal (Louis Jordan), who runs a craps table using loaded dice and has a very peculiar way of saying "Octopussy." Bond is held prisoner at his temple in Udaipur, India, though I don't understand why he's not still there today, as the particulars of his escape are muddy at best. What I enjoy most about Octopussy, aside from the Mrs. Robinson-esque daydreams Adams (appearing all too briefly for a title character) inspires, is its convincing execution of complex action, to say nothing of the coolest Bond weapon since Odd-Job's steel bowler hat, an electric saw yo-yo.

But if I may get back on the high horse for a moment: Octopussy was directed by former editor John Glen, and for every wonderful occurrence in each of his Bonds (additionally, For Your Eyes Only, A View to a Kill, The Living Daylights, and Licence to Kill), there are half-a-dozen missed opportunities. Octopussy rarely conveys the exoticism of its locales, and at 131 minutes, it's pretty flabby.

Towards Octopussy's climax (no sexual pun intended), there is a rare incident of self-reflection on the part of the filmmakers in which a group of randy teenagers agree to give a lift to hitch-hiking Bond, only to leave him in the dust when he eagerly approaches their car. Several years ago, this throwaway gag emphasized how passé the whole enterprise had become. The Catch-22: attempts to hip the superspy up since have been met with disdain from nostalgic audience members, myself included. We no longer live in a Bond world, but an Austin Powers one, and if 007 is to continue to thrive, he'd better get ironic fast.

How depressing.

Even more upsetting is that Octopussy is the only disc in the latest Bond collection (wave 3) from MGM that will function in my combi-player, the Pioneer DVL-700. (Please, no snide comments regarding my first-generation machine--if you think I need a better model then support its purchase by buying your wares through this site.) The studio had no plans at press time to reissue this set, citing my dilemma as a Pioneer problem, not theirs. Well, they're right, but all the same, only MGM DVDs have malfunctioned for me in this particular manner: the platter spins and spins to no avail. MGM's The Hot Spot and Pumpkinhead also suffer this anomaly, so perhaps it's time the Lion rethought its codecs after all.

End polite rant. Octopussy is letterboxed at 2.35:1 and enhanced for 16x9 televisions. Forget what you've read at other DVD pages, the image is beautiful; presented in nearly pristine form, its cinematic compositions restored, the film no longer looks the Movie of the Week it does on TBS. Contrast, flesh tones and shadow detail give the impression of something shot very recently. The Dolby Surround 2.0 audio sounds full cranked, and though lacking in subtlety, it's at least as passable as Thunderball's 5.1 remix.

Octopussy: Special Edition contains two highly entertaining and substantial documentaries and other worthwhile supplements. The 35-minute "Inside Octopussy", narrated, as usual, by Patrick "John Steed" Macnee, retraces the troubled production (it was racing the competing Never Say Never Again to the finish line), and even includes James Brolin's James Bond screen test! (The producers weren't sure if Moore would renew his contract.) "Designing Bond" (21 mins.) profiles long-time production designer Peter Lamont, whose influential sets are often taken for granted.

Rounding out the bonus material are storyboards assembled to music for two chase sequences, a wan commentary by director Glen (he repeats much of what's summarized in the doc), the laughably dated music video for Rita Coolidge's elevator music theme "All Time High", a grouping of not dissimilar Octopussy teasers and trailers, and the standard eight-page booklet of trivia.-Bill Chambers